You can't special order awesome
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
