used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
