New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
