I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
