omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
two words...techno handjob
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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