Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
