I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
