new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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