the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
