and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
