he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
