I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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