So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
