I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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