so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
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