U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
and she was petting her beer can
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
