She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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