I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Just pee around me
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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