I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
