Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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