If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
