Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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