You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
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