M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
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