It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
