i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
