Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
