I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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