it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
