I want to stick my p in your. b.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
