NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
