I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
