One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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