Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
