She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
her facebook's as public as her vagina
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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