i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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