Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
