Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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