but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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