Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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