No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
