The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
How naked do you want me to be?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize