my room smells like sperm. sweet.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
