it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
