I wannas sexs uuuuu
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
