If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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