My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
This baby is an asshole
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
