Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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