when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
