shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Drake has all the answers
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
