Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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