Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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